Turning failure into feedback

By Maxwell Brooks

“There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.”

I read those words while sitting in a semicircle with others in a Learning Well workshop. The phrase felt familiar and somewhat useful, like something you’d see on a motivational poster. I had noticed it in an email signature recently, and I was pretty sure it had appeared in a few social media posts that I scrolled lazily past. Now, though, I was being asked to digest this idea as one of the 14 core principles of neuro-linguistic programming—a set of techniques that uses language to help people change their thoughts and behaviors.

The workshop, InSight 1, is the first in a series of Learning Well offerings designed to help participants improve their communication skills, build rapport with others, and develop strategies for identifying and pursuing desired outcomes.

I kept reading: “Failure is only a question of perspective. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. Every action and thought is an intention set in motion. There will be an effect that will result from that intention.”

Huh. An intention set in motion. That resonated with me.

The idea continued: “When the effects you experience in life aren’t what you desire, it is only feedback to change the intentions and actions that created those effects.”

As I explored this idea with my fellow participants, I felt myself absorbing it all in a new way. I noticed I resisted some of the principles and accepted others, thinking about the growth opportunities that lay between these reactions. In the weeks following the workshop, I often reflected on those foundational lessons and even posted a copy on my desk.

That list has been useful as I’ve dealt with challenging situations and relationships. It has helped me gradually shift how I think about several concepts, including failure. I pay more attention to the ways in which I set my own intentions into motion, and I try to reframe the results not as wins or losses but as feedback about the impact of my intentions.

When I don’t see the impact that I was aiming for, I can use that data to tweak my approach and try again. It has been a useful adjustment for me in both my personal and professional life. It eliminates much of the unhelpful negative self-talk that I can subject myself to when things don’t turn out as planned, and it helps me creatively and nonjudgmentally rethink my strategies for getting what I really want. And that’s the kind of feedback I can build on every day.

The next InSight 1 workshop will be held on Sept. 24-27. Learn more and register here.