May 21, 2021

The courage to share our truths

Dear friends,

Today I find myself thinking about something I read recently by the poet and writer Gertrude Stein. She said, “Love is the skillful audacity to share our inner life.” I translated skillful audacity to mean practiced courage.

Sherrie Frank photo

In the past, I thought you either had courage or you didn’t; her idea of audacity as a skill that I could develop and grow my competency in intrigued me. I started looking at how I may have been incompetent with my courage in the past. I know it took courage for me to finally open and begin sharing the truth of my experience. At first, without much practice at it, I used my courage as a way of purging my bottled-up assumptions, blame, and resentment. The aftermath resembled a toxic wasteland, which led to another skill I was learning—how to clean up my messes.

I wish it didn’t take making messes with the people I love most to learn how to love more fully and grow my capacity for skillful audacity. At the same time, I know it takes practicing a new behavior to get good at it. I also know even mastering the skill does not eliminate my fear. My heart still races sometimes when I am sharing something vulnerable from my inner life. Occasionally I worry about how my truth will land and I have the benefit of knowing, after years of practice, how good it feels to relate honestly and share who I am authentically.

If you know my history, and many of you do, you know my story contains a lot of hurt, secrets, and broken promises. If not for the skills my family and I learned at Wings, I think I would still be repeating that story. Instead, while I am still learning and growing, I have a lot to celebrate. A few weeks ago, my family came together for my birthday. I was often in a state of profound gratitude and awe experiencing how lovely we are to each other and how often, with mostly skillful audacity, we share our inner lives with one another. Anyone can do what we have done and continue to do, practicing courage and cleaning up any messes we make.With our world beginning to open, I invite you to join me in thinking about the quality of your relating. Reflect on what being sheltered in with or forced apart from the ones you love has taught you and inspired you to do and be.

Much love,xo

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