Our most important relationship is with ourselves 

By Stefanie Tebo 

I laughed out loud when I was asked to write about relationships. I’m in the middle of a divorce, untangling myself from a partner of 17 years. I was sure I had nothing to offer. It’s curious that when I heard “relationship,” my mind went to intimacy. After a bit of contemplation, I realized that cultivating relationships has been my focus lately, especially the one with myself. I recently decided to date myself, and it turns out I am good company! I create time to enjoy the things in life that make ME happy.  

Being in transition has renewed my connection with family and friends. Remaining present and playful allows for a loving exchange with my kids. Relationships with coworkers (who have become friends) and patients fill my heart and give me purpose. My pets (who are reaping the benefits of receiving more petting) love the new me! My spiritual practice is to offer lovingness to all sentient beings, and what I give out returns.  

My relationship with speech is important. The yogic practice of mantra reminds me that the words I speak flow out into the universe and reverberate back. Meditation supports the connection between my mind, body, and breath. Mindfulness gives me the pause to consider my relationship with my thoughts – are they harmful or kind? Relating to time, am I in the present moment or on auto pilot, copying and pasting the past or trying to predict the future? The InSight workshop series gave me the ability to skillfully choose my thoughts and beliefs that ultimately create my reality. 

Yoga means to “yoke” or “unite,” connecting my mind and body and my earthly self with my highest self. By acknowledging the light within me, I am able to see light in others. I am aware that I have been gifted a fortunate human birth and feel grateful for my body; it is the vehicle for my spirit in this lifetime. I treat my body kindly, offering affirmations of love, and make healthy food choices. I am aware that I am going to be with me for the rest of my life. The CrossOver workshop gave me the realization that being in my body, I am already home.  

Practicing self-compassion allows me to lighten up, befriend myself, and connect with the shared human experience. Being barefoot and lying on the earth strengthens my connection with nature. Growing food and caring for chickens and ducks allows for an intimate connection with Mother Earth, who always supports me. 

Albert Einstein said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe.” How I choose to view my relationship with the world is the most important decision I can make. My world is safe, friendly, and supportive.  

May you be happy, 

May you feel loved and have relationships that nurture your soul, 

May you be at peace. 

With much love, Stefanie 

Stefanie Tebo is a wellness coach, certified master practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming, yoga and mindfulness teacher, and wellness class facilitator at La Clinica.