Aim not for ‘good’ but for love

As the world crosses the threshold into 2022, I have been contemplating these words of author Ilia Delio: “Our challenge today is to trust the power of love at the heart of life, to let ourselves be seized by love, to create and invent ways for love to evolve into a global wholeness of unity, compassion, justice, and peacemaking.” I felt struck by the simplicity of her vision the first time I read her words, and as I spend time reflecting on their deeper meaning, I find myself navigating a wide range of feelings, from hope to despair.

I’ve noticed in my reflections that if I go down the path of fear, thinking humanity will never find peace, I feel unpeaceful and resigned. In those times, I want to stick my head in the sand and let other people deal with the problem. And yet here I am writing to you about peace and inviting us all to continue to keep our heads up and our hearts leaning toward each other.

The difficulty is that we’ve been taught to fear each other, and our instinctual drive is to keep our eyes focused on what we fear, ready to fight or flee. Years ago, I took a class on Spiral Dynamics where I began to understand how “good” people, focused on making “bad” people wrong, create a system of separation based in fear. Both sides believe they are on the side of “good” and resist the “bad” side, and this cycle of resistance makes the whole system grow stronger. If either group were to direct its attention elsewhere, the system would weaken and eventually collapse. Those innate drivers are powerful, and to turn our attention away from our fear takes effort.

Neuroscience is providing evidence now of what many of us have already experienced—we can, with determination and effort, become aware of our unconscious fears and work with them to transform biases, heal from trauma, and learn new ways of being and doing. It helps me to remember love is also an innate driver in us. This was most evident when we were children and played together with our differences, the ones as adults we find at times insurmountable. Learning to be responsive to this innate love we hold rather than reactive to our fears is how we become peacemakers in the world. Yes.

This year, I invite you to join me in the practice of head up and heart open, accepting Ilia Delio’s challenge—to trust the power of love at the heart of life, to let ourselves be seized by love, to create and invent ways for love to evolve into a global wholeness of unity, compassion, justice, and peacemaking. Let’s create together the world we want to live in. ♥️

xo -s